To write this, I had to think of all the bad things a potential predator could do or say, based on my experiences with friends and loved ones who have encountered such types. Just writing this took me to a very dark place, even having to imagine someone being this way, but I believe it's necessary for many people to read. I'm sure there are more examples, more stories, and more possibilities for predation, but frankly, I had my fill after writing this. This does not reflect my thoughts or viewpoints, but seeks to provide a different point of view from which people might be able to get information without going through the typical RED FLAGS writings, which are generally very helpful.
Inside the Mind of a Predator
Dear New Person,
I will purposely choose you because you are younger, new and/or uneducated in the lifestyle. I will use my age, experience (although it may be falsely created), and purported wisdom to earn your trust, through whatever means necessary, and then use that trust to isolate you from others by telling you what I believe you want to hear. It's going to be easy though, because you'll be so excited, and so happy that someone like me has chosen you that you'll tell me everything. You won't realize that I'm just mimicking your words when I tell you what you need. I'm just a good listener and I know how to read people very well, but you'll think I'm a mind-reader.
Oh, I can be very convincing, and will try to ingratiate myself with your friends and family, as long as they aren't lifestylers, to prove to you just how trustworthy I am. I can't be all that bad if they like me as well, right? I am going to do my best to keep you away from other lifestylers as it's my job to "protect" you from all those predators. I'm one of the good guys/girls remember, and I know all the right buzzwords to say, have all the right toys, so you'll know I'm the real deal. You can trust me and you will start to, even though something in the back of your head may be telling you that something doesn't seem right. Whenever you ask questions that may indicate something might not be all the way correct, I'll be able to explain it away because you don't know any better and won't listen to that little voice. You're so excited to be doing this, that you will take most of what I say at face value, and question very little. What I'm counting on, and most of the time I'm not disappointed, is that you will forget everything you already know and assume the lifestyle will be everything you dreamed it would, forgetting that real life plays a huge role in what we do. I will be the Christian Grey to your Anastasia.
Oh, don't be fooled though, as this is part of my game, and I know the rules as I've perfected them over time. You're not going to know specifics about my background, but I'll make you believe that I'm one of the best, if not the best, at what I do, but I'll make sure you can't validate my claims. You might have a hard time getting ahold of me, but I can always explain that away. It could be that I don't want my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend to find out that I'm living this alternate life without them, or that I don't want you to know about them as you are my special snowflake, or I might be forthright and lie and tell you, “Oh, we have an open relationship and they are cool with me doing this”. It's just not their thing. Either way, I'm going to convince you that I have everything under control and to just "trust me".
Speaking of my background - God forbid you are able to check on my background and speak to people that I've run this game on before. Oh no, that just won't do. I'll be mysterious and suave and say all the right things, making you the focus of my attention to draw your attention away from me. I'm a master of my feelings as well, and can capitalize on your desire not to want to disappoint me. You see, my little puppet, I want you to want to please me. That's my ultimate goal because, if I can do that, then I can get away with almost anything. Let me tell you how I'll get you there.
I will attempt to convince you that other people are not to be trusted even though you see other people trusting them. How will I do this? Well, I will lie to you because that what I'm good at. The deception is how I make this all work. By making others appear to be bad or incompetent, I can elevate your perception of me in your mind. To the honest person with a conscience, this is very difficult, but for me, having taken the time to develop these skills for my own satisfaction, I have become quite the expert. Sure I'll humor you and let you do some research on your own, but because you're so new, I'll be able to refute anything you find if it seems contrary to what I'm trying to accomplish. There I go, being really slick again. Damn I'm good at this.
I won't want to attend public events nor will I want you to attend them, using the excuse that I'm a private person and I want to spend all my time with you, because we need to focus on "our" relationship without any outside interference, even though I know that being around others more experienced and wise could potentially help us. That is, if I was truly interested in us, but you and I both know that's not the case. I'm all about me and will use you to be all about me. Again, I'm going to make you feel really special. "Those people" don't really know what they're doing, can't appreciate you for what you are so there's really nothing I could learn from them anyway. You see, I've done my research and I know enough to be able to fool most people, especially you being so new, which is why I have to keep you isolated so that you can't find out that I don't know as much as I say I know. I'll always be one step ahead of you though, as you are more than likely are not my first victim. I've done this to others and may be doing it to more than one person at a time. Oh, there I went and did it again. I gave away one of my secrets.
I'm going to push you to enter in an arrangement with me as soon as possible - Making you my submissive or slave as soon as I can. That way, I can lock you down and now, because I'm your Master,/Mistress/Dominant/Domme/Daddy/Mommy or whatever, and I will have access to everything you do because you trust me. I've become your everything and you're living this wondrous dream. Now that I've become your everything, you will wholeheartedly believe that I'm going to do what's right by you. At first, it will seem like a fantasy come true, with you having experiences like you never had before, but over time it will slowly start to devolve.
Depending on how much I think I can get from you, I may make your fantasy last a while and really get you snared. You see, the deeper I can drag you in, the more success I will have of getting what I want now and for a longer period to follow. It isn't until I tire of you, getting what I can, or you start to get more information from other sources, possibly exposing me for the fraud that I am, will I bail. I'm going to continue to say the right things, and convince you that you can’t live your life without me, now that you've found what fulfills you. My endgame could be sexual, or could be I just want to abuse you, or that I thrive on being controlling and manipulative.
Things will be good for a while, until you find something. It may be small but it will be significant. You might decide to go to a munch without me, or send a message to someone asking an innocent question, or read something online that doesn't make sense based on what I said. If you're obedient and tell me about first, I'll be able to convince you that it's either a waste of your time, or point you to a resource that supports my story. Everyone is disobedient at least once (I lose so many potential victims this way) and since you'll probably not tell me about it, then I'm on the road to being caught for the fraud I am - busted - this always eventually happens. Things will start to unravel with the more information you acquire. It's when this happens that you might see the deeper darker side of my personality, and things might get ugly. There's no predicting how I'm going to react to "your betrayal" which I will use to draw you back. You're going to feel guilted into staying and trying to "fix" things as you're sorry that you hurt me by questioning my better and obviously more experienced judgment. I may even become either emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive and blame you for causing the situation. With some people this actually works and I'm able to hold onto them for a long time, but even that only lasts so long as they all eventually learn the truth about me, about what kind of person I really am. Do I care if this takes something from you? No, absolutely not. I care about what it did for me, no matter how short-lived. When it's all said and done, I will cast you aside after I have gotten what I need from you and then move on to the next unsuspecting victim - new to the scene and blinded by this fantasy. This is what I do.
Here are some things I want all of you new people to do to make things easier for me:
Don't talk to other people - they might be able to expose me for the fraud I am and if I've taken advantage of them, they might tell you.
Don't go to munches – You might learn something I don't know and I won't be able to take advantage of you.
Continue to think you know everything walking in the door – I’m so happy to hear that you haven’t taken the time to educate yourself in this lifestyle.
Don't use your common sense - it always makes it so difficult to ensnare someone when they do.
Do forget what you already know - This is purely a fantasy world and everything is different here. Just ask me - I'll always tell you the truth.
Stop doing your research - How can I be expected to succeed if you're more knowledgeable than me and can see through my bullshit.
Listen to me, and me only - second and third opinions always ruin things for me.
Agree to meet up with me in private - that's always going to turn out well for you - trust me.
Blindly believe everything I tell you as if it was the gospel - you do want me to succeed, don't you?
Don't wait to jump into a relationship - the sooner I can get you locked down, the more I'm able to use you for my own purposes.
Don’t believe all those people that tell you to educate yourself first – what do they know? I don’t care if they are legitimately trying to keep you safe. This is not about being safe – it’s all about me.
Signed,
The Typical Predator
Update
A number of people have asked me to either link to this article or repost it. Please feel free to do so across this and other social media platforms. This is for everyone and needs to get out to as many people as possible.
A huge thank you to everyone for your positive feedback and comments. For those of you who sent me private messages - Thank you for sharing your story with me.
As chilling and creepy as this writing is, and as hard as it was to write, I felt it to be of paramount importance to share a perspective that people are uncomfortable addressing. I would much rather someone feel discomfort now, than worse later after it happens.
Keep in mind your surroundings, learn how to be situationally aware, use common sense, learn about what we do, don't forget what you know, understand what to look for in a person's behaviors and know the red flags. These are all good factors to employ in entering the lifestyle and hell, they are good things to keep in mind for all aspects of life.
With that said, and even taking into account all those factors, with there being more to consider based on the situation, there are still people who will fall prey to those people out there looking to take advantage of them.
The predator I describe in my writing is well practiced and experienced at what they do. They've taken the time to learn what they need to do to excel at it. All of us need to take the same time to learn how to either avoid or combat this threat directly. If we are as prepared as they are, we will diminish their chances of success. The more they know that we know, and that we can identify who they are, the less effective they will be.
