Tuesday, March 13, 2012

All Parents and Doctors that want to play Gender Bender with their child needs to read this, and STOP IT!


Tragic end of the boy who was brought up as a girl

David Reimer was hailed by scientists as a triumph of nurture over nature. But as his suicide shows, this was a terrible mistake.

Two weekends ago, 38-year-old David Reimer told his parents in their shared hometown of Winnipeg, Canada, that although he was going through a rough patch – recovering from the death of his twin brother two years ago and from his separation from his wife – things would getter better very soon. He didn’t explain how.
Now his family knows. On 4 May, Reimer took his own life. While his recent ills surely contributed to the despair, his mother knows there was more to it than that. His death was the final coda to a life that became a world-renowned case study in the perils of tampering with gender. During the span of his life he had been a boy, then a girl and then a boy again. “I thought I was an it,” he once said.
The wrenching story of David (baptised as Brian) Reimer began with a freak snowstorm in 1966. His parents, working-class people from the plains of Manitoba, drove him to the local hospital for a routine circumcision. He was eight months old. But the regular surgeon had not made it in and an assistant took over. She botched the job. A cauterising implement burned David’s penis – and it fell off. A witness later said that when the mistake was made there was a sizzling sound, like a steak being seared.
Left with a child with testicles but no penis, his parents were unsure what to do. Then, one day when the boy was more than a year old, they learned about a doctor in Baltimore who had gained a reputation of helping people of ambiguous gender. His name was John Money and they went to see him.
It was Money, a native of New Zealand and the author of some 40 books on human sexuality, who persuaded them that the best course of action was to transform their son into a daughter. He recommended surgery, including clinical castration, and hormone treatment to turn young Brian into a girl. His parents agreed and the treatment began. Brian became Brenda and long trousers gave way to skirts.
It was when Reimer was 13 and in therapy with a counsellor provided by the Winnipeg school system that he learned for the first time what had happened to him. Already he had been stigmatised by fellow classmates. They had seen his ungainly gait, the muscles that, despite the removal of his testicles, had begun developing on his neck and arms, and his lack of interest in boys. “They wouldn’t let him use the boys’ washroom or the girls’,” his mother, Janet Reimer, recalled. “He had to go in the back alley.”
That was when he rebelled, demanding that he be allowed to go through more surgery to restore his manhood. It was a transition that would be traumatic for any person, let alone someone in their early teens. The breasts that had developed because of the hormone injections were removed by mastectomy. And he opted for reconstructive surgery to build back the penis of which he had been robbed after birth.
Most experts today contend that there is no overriding the gender determinants that are in a person before birth. But that does not mean that environment does not play some part. “The Reimer case has taught a lot of people in the field that things are a lot more complex when it comes to gender than people originally thought 30 years ago,” argued Ken Zucker, who is chief psychiatrist at the Toronto Center for Addiction and Mental Health.more at source

I think this story should go out to all the parents and medical professionals who want to play gender bender with  their children.  Come on sex/gender changes through hormone blocking drugs at the age of 18 Months, because they think they have gender identity issues a real look.

 I know this poor boy/mans issue was not his  fault if anyone  is to blame it is the  Medical Foul Up/Shoddy Surgery, Parents  and Medical  treatment made by John Money for starters.  What Mr. Money couldn’t surgically construct a penis?    I guess I should have figured by his last name alone there would have been more ‘Money’ with gender blocking treatments.

My goodness what would you do as a parent if something like this happened to your son?  shera~
Gender Benders Terminology

11 comments:

Just a passerby said...

His case, while sad, is not one that can be compared to other individuals who consciously CHOOSE to be a certain gender. In this case, the parents made the decision for him when he was still too young to know anything. But if it were a child of say, eight years of age, who is able to state that they do not belong in that gender they were born as, then it's a different issue entirely.

Also, I don't think it's fair to call it "playing Gender Bender"...no one saw it as a game. His parents thought they were doing what's best for him and based on the scientific advancement in that time, doctors believed that was the best thing for him too. It's not a game to anyone. It's easy for you to make snap judgements after reading this, but if you were put in their position, I don't think you'd like referring to it as "play" either.

beautifulnightmare said...

Thank you for your comment and yes his story was and is very tragic, but I also might add this. Let me ask you a question. Did you know what you wanted as a life long goal, dream, way of life at the age of 8 and did you stick with those thoughts?

When I was little I wanted to be a Vet. because I loved animals and trust me I still do, but guess what, as I got older my interests developed and grew I wanted to be so many different things.

Did I become a Vet? Nope, I love animals of all kinds but I don't think I could deal with the griefs and headships they go through.

But what you said or are implying is pretty much the same as saying a child that murders or commits some other tragic crime know what they where doing in their right mind and should be tried as an adult.

I wouldn't or don't know what it feels like or have said I wanted to be or was the opposite sex of how I was born.

I personally think that parents are playing a cruel game to a child when they are that young because they may have gotten into another siblings clothes and where happy about dressing up as a girl or boy.

Can you honestly tell me that a child of 8 or 18 months are making a life long correct decision of who they claim to be or want to be in the future?

Thanks again for your comment~

Just a passerby said...

To answer your questions/comments...

Did you know what you wanted as a life long goal, dream, way of life at the age of 8 and did you stick with those thoughts?

Yes, actually. I was always a voracious reader and as such had always dreamt of being a writer ever since I could read. I do realize that this is not the norm, however, and I admit that at times I have had flights of fantasy (e.g. "I wanna be a ballerina! No, a surgeon!"). But the point is: would you compare your gender identity to a JOB? People lose their jobs all the time, or get promoted, or switch to different jobs. Jobs do not define who you are as a person. Jobs are an extension of you, but not something that DEFINES you. I don't think your career is as important as your gender, and I think it's somewhat ignorant to use them as examples of each other.

"I personally think that parents are playing a cruel game to a child when they are that young because they may have gotten into another siblings clothes and where happy about dressing up as a girl or boy. "

Ermmm, I think that said parents would disagree. Do you really think that people would spend tons of money, time, and effort to change their little boy into a girl just because he happens to look cute in a dress? Once again...sorry, but I think your comments are showing a huge ignorance and insensitivity to parents who have children with gender issues. It's not an easy decision for anyone to make, and it is not a game, no matter how much you want to think it is.

"Can you honestly tell me that a child of 8 or 18 months are making a life long correct decision of who they claim to be or want to be in the future? "

Refer to my first response: Career does not equal gender identity. Also, if you want to put an age limit on it...let's say a child who was born a boy really identifies as a girl, but because of people like you, they are not allowed to change genders until they're considered an adult at age 18. Therefore, they are forced to go through the first 18 years of their lives as the gender they were born as. Is that fair to those kids? So instead of their parents allowing them to make their decisions, you're basically saying that strangers such as yourself should be making their decisions for them because you know so much better. Hmmm...

beautifulnightmare said...

WOW thanks for such a quick reply. Because I'm expressing 'my personal thoughts and opinions' Is called Free Speech....oh shit I forgot we can't have that anymore.

I've always been an avid reader of everything too, In fact I had an above college reading level by the time I was in the 4th grade but that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I was using the job/career choice as an example with the way so many people choose to define themselves, because .throw what sex choice or appetite that is in to whatever they want to be.

If you where meant to be certain sex you would have been born that way. I think they should be allowed to mature a little more then the ripe old age of a toddler.
Are the parents also made to go through a battery of psych tests prior to this decision? If not they should be along with the doctor or given a second and third opinion.

As far as costs of this to the parents, I couldn't imagine the $ spent. You also never answered my question about a child that commits a murder or other horrific crime as a child. So I'll take it they should be tried as an Adult, which I think they should in most cases. That one is as big as a life changing decision as the Gender Identity one. At least I think so, and there is almost always a team of lawyers or doctors or advocates behind the child saying their brains aren't developed or mature enough to be held responsible for their actions so why should the gender one be any different?

hmmmmm

Just a passerby said...

"You also never answered my question about a child that commits a murder or other horrific crime as a child."

The reason I chose to ignore this indescribably offensive comparison is because it's that: stupid and offensive. You compared a child choosing to be a certain gender to a child committing murder...ummm...please enlighten me how the two are similar in any way? In one case, the child harms nobody else aside from close-minded bigots such as yourself. In the other, the child actually takes the life of someone else. So yea...sorry, but I find your example nonsensical.

Actually, wait, I'm not sorry. It's nonsensical, and yes, you are free to voice out your opinion, especially on your blog. I am merely pointing out that your opinion is based on flawed logic and bigoted thinking.

Just a passerby said...

Also...
"If you where meant to be certain sex you would have been born that way."

I think this pretty much settled it. Your opinion is that switching genders is wrong, period. So it's not even a question of age, you just don't think that anyone should be allowed to go through gender reassignment, no matter how much the individual feels like they need it. So much for freedom huh?

beautifulnightmare said...

I have been nothing but polite in this conversation as to my opinions and my approach. If anything I'm offended by you calling me 'ignorant' and a 'bigot'.

I was using the child crime thing as an example to demonstrate that the law and doctors in most cases don't judge their actions as an adult of making rational 'adult' decisions and having the thought to later deal with the consequences of their decision.

If anything I think you sound guilty of choices you have made. Alright instead of Gender Bender lets call it a GOD COMPLEX does that make you feel better?

Unknown said...

You know what, people dont want to admit one thing, play God and you face the consequence a thousand times more. As simple as that. Even a three year old will know a girl from a boy, or vice versa. Nature is nature, you cannot manipulate it, but once you try then you find yourself in a very complicated situation.

beautifulnightmare said...

Rewandiki, thank you for your comment, and your correct those that chose to play 'The God Role' eventually do pay the consequences. Perhaps I made bad choices as examples in my Blog or comments for Just a passerby to get what I was trying to say.

Anonymous said...

The case is a double tragedy because of inattentive medical personel.I don't believe all these feelings talked about would have manifested themselves if the kid still had his penis.I think his mind was made up for him, peer pressure being what it is.Nightmare is not ignorant nor a spineless bigot.Just a passerby said:"no one saw it as a game."It would appear that some of the characters didn't take it too seriously either, seeing how they burnt his dick off.

beautifulnightmare said...

Thank you Anonymous for your comment and for defending me. I was never trying to approach this as ignorant or a biggot. Perhaps I made the mistake of trying to compare a tragic accident to other then the gender blocking drugs. I'm sorry I think it is a crime to give 'toddlers' these drugs is the main point I was trying to make.

Bound for Glory - I Stood